Update on Life

Mom Deserves Better
As I believe I mentioned in last week’s Friday post, my mom passed away on 10/17.  From the get-go, I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to fly out for the memorial service what with flight costs being what they are and the troubles of keeping a family of seven (3 kids, 2 inlaws, and hubby/me) afloat. I was hoping that at the very least I would be able to attend the memorial service via Skype or something like that, and kept bugging my brother about when the service would be. I finally took matters into my own hands yesterday because I hadn’t heard, and called the man from Mom’s church who’s been helping Jim through this entire troubled time for him.  What did he tell me? There’s not going to be a memorial service!!!!!!!!

Why is that, I asked. I know Mom was a faithful attendee at their church for many years until her health descended to the point she couldn’t go any more. She tithed regularly, went through the temple rigamarole (she was Mormon), etc. The church people even did the temple stuff post-mortem for her before the cremation. She didn’t get a memorial service because they were waiting for my brother to get ahold of them, or something like that. Jim, every time I asked, told me he was waiting on THEM. So, Mom, who deserves so much more than a one-line, brief statement of “MaryAnn Chandler was born 6/8/39 and passed away on 10/17/11, as her obituary isn’t even going to get a service!

I take the blame for this, though I’d love to say “Oh, it’s not my fault, since he should be handling everything.” Maybe it was expecting too much, given how much emotional strife and upheaval he’s facing as his raison d’etre is now gone. But it never occured to me that something like this would fall through the cracks. Mama deserves better, and I let her down. Once again.

So, needless to say, I’m busy wallowing in guilt and misery today.

The Shrimp finished his first quarter of kindergarten. I’m so proud, but nervous b/c report cards are due out in a week and I don’t know for certain how he did.

Jackie can now sit up by herself and (mostly) crawl. She also, for the past three nights, has slept between 8 & 11 hours straight with no middle of the night feeding. Now if only I could say the same for Sam. One day we’ll get there, I know.

On Writing
On a good note, I finally broke through (it seems) the block I was having with War and have figured out how to move along. We shall see if any of the rest of Draft 1 gets used. I suspect at least part will since it overlays the Blood Rage storyline.

How’s everyone else’s life going?

(I decided to leave out the self-pitying rant that I started to post because it’s not fair to inflict my temper on everyone else…but damn I came close to hitting ‘post’ with it in.)



  1. Oh wow, sorry to hear that. Everyone deserves a memorial service. 😦 It's good closure for the family, at the very least. Interesting hearing your family update; I remember when you were pregnant! Time flies when it's someone else's baby. LOL Also glad you've broken through your writer's block. Best wishes for continued good progress!


  2. Tory,I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Baffled here, and I dunno what to say. Big hugs!Look after yourself though, and glad at least the writing is moving along nicely. And lol, now I remember I've been here before on SSS (finally clicking the name with the face/persona *grin*)Big hugs!


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